Lessons for parents!

Lessons for parents!

The great thing about a child is that he finds happiness out of everything. He does not need big things to enjoy. Because he is pure and unbiased so everything that comes across him, becomes a source of joy!

Every child comes to the world as an entirely new creation of God. Every day the child learns something. Every child is talented in its own way. We should find out the hidden talent of every individual child and try to give him the best facility in keeping with his interest. That will help him to develop to the fullest.

The best thing that parents can give to their child is education and character. These are permanent source of strength to future citizens. Parents should only try to let the child grow his potentiality to the fullest. If this is allowed to happen they can not only be a source of happiness to their parents but will definitely prove an asset to the society at large. Many millionaires have donated most of their assets for charity and left only a very small portion of it for their children because they did not want them to be spoilt with so much wealth in their hands at the outset (for which they did nothing to acquire). The best thing is that they must learn the art of earning themselves. Once they do this, they can themselves acquire wealth as per their ability and may reach to any height.

Many parents want to use their wards for the fulfilment of their unfulfilled dreams. They want their children to achieve what they themselves could not. Even when the child has no interest in Mathematics, some parents want them to be engineer as they themselves could not because of whatever reasons. Such students do not succeed and get frustrated due to wrong selection of subjects. Let us not forget that everybody has its own potentially and interests. It is not fare to force a child to adopt a career as per market requirements. That kills the basic instinct of a child to grow in his\her own way.If we allow them to choose career according to their choice they definitely would have a better chance to succeed.

Nobody can get everything he desires. What is required is our ability to be able to live in complete harmony with the present time so that our entire energy is focussed and utilised in positive direction. The basic purpose of entire education system should be to make the child self-dependent. He should be able to live his life independently. But there are many cases when parents keep on nagging their children unnecessarily. This does not serve the purpose. Such children ultimately fail to achieve and many times become source of trouble for their parents and the society as a whole.

These days most of the Parents do not have time for their children. They want to compensate for that with lot of money which they spend upon buying toys and other things of their choice. They do not delay even for a moment in fulfilling any such. That becomes a habit of the child. When such child grows he does not know to wait or adjust rather they want everything or anything that they desire. This attitude makes it very difficult for them to adjust in the society at a later stage when they are grown up persons and have to face odds and evens of life. This often results in attitudinal problems and abnormality in their behaviour.

Children learn most of things within the family. Our behaviour, way of talking with other family members and even attitude affect the growth of our children. They by all means try to copy those things. We practice one thing and try to teach something different to our children. That does not bring about the desired result. What children need most is a real example as set by their parents and family. It is, therefore, absolutely essential that parents themselves set good examples before them so that they develop as a good citizen later on.

Everybody gives his other best for their children. In fact, we get immense satisfaction in doing something good for them. Even the poorest want their children to be well educated so that they get better opportunities in their lives and achieve what we could not. But we make a mistake at this point. Everybody comes to this world with his own destiny. We cannot frame up them to fit into our personal ambitions. Moreover, everybody has different nature. Accordingly, his aptitude and likings too vary. We should try to find out the personal likings of our children and let them grow in that direction. We should and must not force our own ambitions upon them.

These days children live under lot of pressure. Securing the highest marks seems to be the end game. The fact of the matter is that parents are not satisfied even when his child gets above ninety percent because someone else has secured more than him. Are we expecting our children to work like a computer? Apart from intellectual growth, we must let our children inculcate moral values which play a dominant role in personality building of a child and gives them strength to fight the battle of life.

Many parents are too much concerned about performance of their children in the school or college examinations. No doubt such tests ae important but they cannot be given so much weightage that the basic purpose of education i.e. to develop self-dependent and confidant Youngman is affected adversely. As a guardian we can provide best facilities so the student. Sometimes things are not in the hand of the student and he may get less marks despite efforts. We keep scolding our children for not performing well examinations. That does not help in anyway. Instead we should do self-introspection and find out the real reason behind poor performance of the child. That may lead to his prosperity. After all, scoring good marks in examinations is not the end game and there are many people in this world who have done very well in their lives despite being an average student. So, what is important is to understand your child and his nature. If we do this, half the work is done!

How much really, we need?

How much really, we need?

Most of us keep acquiring wealth throughout our life. Ultimately, we die leaving everything that we acquired during our lifetime. Nothing goes along with us. This is an universal truth. Everybody knows this. Nevertheless, we keep running after wealth. We keep seeing our bank passbooks and ultimately die leaving the entire bank balance sometimes even without a nominee.

How much we really need? The answer is-Not much. Even the richest needs just a room with a bed to sleep. He cannot eat at the most say four times a day and can drive only one car. But things become different when we attach ego to everything. If a particular person lives in two bed rooms I must live in at least four bed room flat or so on. We want to look better than others by hook or crook. It is here that the problem germinates. We try to acquire things not only to meet out our essential requirement rather keep on craving for fulfilment of egocentric ambitions.

How much a greedy person requires, perhaps limitless. Why is it so? Because we are over ambitious. We are self-centred. We do not believe in almighty. We do not even believe in our own strength or in the capacity of our children. That is why we want to acquire enormous wealth so that not only myself but my generations together should remain affluent.

In the ancient time, there was a bad practice of burying servants and enough material things along with a dying king. This was done with the notion that the things buried along with the dead king would ultimately be made available to him as per his requirements. What was this? Nothing but foolishness. Many innocent persons used to lose their lives because of this.

Material achievements like money, land, house and posts are useful as long as these add to happiness in our lives. If they cross that limit and become a permanent source of trouble, then we must get out of such things. 

It is a universal truth that we leave everything while we depart from this world. Not even the richest men could carry anything. That is why many millionaires donate their wealth for charities. That gives peace of mind and helps in the welfare of mankind. They need to be helped for getting even the basic facilities like food and clothes. We can strengthen our soul by helping such persons.

While food is required for sustaining the body system, prayer is equally rather more important for spiritual requirement. We can not live in peace unless we develop the art of self-satisfaction . We must realize that the material achievements have their own limitations. These things cannot take us beyond a point. We must understand it and try to develop a sense of balance in our attitudes towards men and things around us. Then alone we can live a meaningful life.

There are many people in this world who have set examples in this regard. Having realised uselessness of enormous wealth, they gifted most of their assets for charity. We must have the source for fulfilment of the essential requirements like food, shelter, health and education. Anything beyond that should essentially be utilized for public welfare so that the deprived and the poor are able to live life like a human being.

There is no end to greed. The moment we are able to fulfil our one aspiration, something else crops up. This endless chain of unfulfilled desires continues till we leave this world when everything that we earned throughout our lives, are left out. This is the ultimate. We did not come to this world of our own choice nor shall we go as per our desire. In between we have freedom to choose our lives. The question is? -what is our choice. We can have our own ways but we can not get satisfaction out of material achievements’ sense of detachment with material things is required.

EGO

EGO

These days people are overstressed. They just need a small jerk and you are finished. The reason is that most of the people are already over exhausted. They have crossed their limit of tolerance. It is not that the particular incident was responsible for the horrible incident. Thus, we are passing through a very difficult phase. You may not be at fault or the fault may be quite small compared to the harm done by others under overreaction. The question is: How to face the situation? Unless we adopt a middle path and try to reconcile with the situation, things are bound to get complicated. 

Every day we see such conflicts. People attach too much importance to their own views and often try to impose it upon others because of the wrong notion that they are the wisest and the views expressed by them should be accepted by all. Many times, we find people quarrelling over small things. Sometimes it also results in murders. Like me others too have their own ego problem. 

Overinfluenced by our own ego, we often become unreasonable and undertake one-sided view of things which results in further complicates the situation. We stick to our own views and do not listen to others. In that situation   even enlightened and educated persons fail to resolve the small issues.

Some people are too much ego-centric. They can go to any extent to settle their ego requirements. Such persons are not fit to adjust in the society and often create unwanted problems. People with high dose of ego often tend to be dictatorial and hardly try to accommodate. They therefore, always find fault with others and most of the time keep criticizing   the people who come in contact. Ego- centric persons are so much engrossed with their own views that they do not mind even harming themselves if that satisfies their ego. So, we must be careful in handling such persons.

Ego is a common problem for everybody. Not even Gods are said to be an exception. In Mahabharat, there is a famous story that once Bhim was going through a forest. A monkey was lying in his way. He requested the monkey to move out but it did not buzz. He requested again and again and then became angry. The monkey said sarcastically- “You are so brave, having won the battle of Mahabharata. Why do not you remove me and go ahead? “That made Bhim quite angry. He shouted back at the monkey and started removing his tail forcefully but he could not move the tail even an inch. Then Bhim realized that it could be none but Hanumanji and just fell on his feet. Then Hanumanji came in his real form and told him that he had done the whole thing just to make him understand the reality and get out of his false ego that he had won the battle of Mahabharat. He further clarified that he was present atop his flag throughout the battle of Mahabharat otherwise he would have been thrown out of the battle field like anything.

Everybody has his own ego. It is neither desirable nor possible to get rid of ego altogether. Ego becomes problem when we do not consider ego of others and in that process heart them. Hurting a person even unwillingly does not help us in any way because once hurt, the man becomes beyond our reach. We lose chance to settle an issue amicably. We must, therefore, be cautious while dealing with the situation which we confront in day to day life. If we agree to appreciate the fact that others too are human being and have weaknesses as we have, things become much easier to resolve.

Many people keep fighting for nothing or for something very small. A friend of mine who is an Advocate told me that one of his client was having dispute with his own brother over some ancestral property the net value of which was not more than seven lacs. Both the brothers were having claim over the same property and no one was willing to budge an inch. The advocate told me that one of the two brothers who was his client had already given him about eight lacs as fee and he might be required to pay more as the matter was still pending in the court. Such is the predicament of the situation that we keep fighting without even bothering about the benefit that could eventually come out of that.

We remain involved with our oneself throughout. If we develop sense of ownness with others and are concerned with the well-being of our nears and dears, we can live in greater harmony with the things around and attain peace of mind which has been elusive so far because it cannot be gained through worldly achievements. Ego is the greatest obstacle in the way. We must get out of it and enjoy the bliss of life.

मनः पूतं समाचरेत

मनः पूतं समाचरेत

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जीवनमे बहुतरास अप्रिय ,अरुचिकर घटनासब घटैत रहैत अछि । कतेकोबेर ऐहन घटना घटित भए जाइत अछि जे मनुक्खकेँ हिला कए राखि दैत अछि मुदा एहने समयमे संस्कार ओ ज्ञानक परीक्षा होइत अछि । तकर अभावमे व्यथासँ विचलित लोक गलत रस्ता पकड़ि लैत छथि आ कैबेर अनर्थ कए बैसैत छथि । हालमे दिल्लीक बुरारीमे घटित लोमहर्षक घटना समस्त जागरुक व्यक्तिकेँ हिला कए राखि देलक । ऐकहिटा परिवारक एगारह गोटे दूपहर रातिमे फाँसी लगा कए मरि गेलाह । सभगोटे एकदम स्वस्थ छलाह। परिवार आर्थिक रुपसँ समृद्ध छल । राजस्थानसँ बीस-बाइस साल पहिने दिल्ली आबि कए ठिक-ठाक हालत मे छलाह । परन्तु की भेल जे पूरा-क- पूरा परिवार स्वयं फाँसीक फंदा बना झुलि गेल? जाँच-पड़तालमे ई बात  आबि रहल अछि जे ओ सभ तंत्र-मंत्रक चक्करमे पड़ि गेल छलाह । हुनकासभकेँ ई अंधविश्वास छल जे एहि तरहेँ मरलासँ हुनका सभकेँ मुक्ति भए जाएत। कहि नहि सत्य की छल  मुदा भेल तँ अनर्थे । सभतरहेँ जूड़ल-अटल परिवार सदा-सर्वदाक हेतु नष्ट भए गेल आ सेहो धर्मक नामपर । तेँ मनुक्खकेँ चाही जे आँखि खोलि कए राखथि । ककरो बातपर बिनाा सोचने-बिचारने विश्वास नहि करथि । सोचएबला बात थीक जे फाँसी  लगा कए मरि गेलासँ मुक्ति कतएसँ भेटत । एहन सुन्दर जीवनकेँ व्यर्थमे गमा देब मूर्खता नहि तँ की थिक? 

आँखि मूनिकए ककरो चेला भए जाएब कोनो  हिसाबे उचित नहि अछि । आई काल्हि बहुत रास ढ़ोंगी बाबा सभ धर्मक नामपर लोककेँ ठकैत देखल जाइत छथि । ककरो बातकेँ बिना सोच-विचारकेँ नहि मानक चाही । अपन माथा जरुर लगाबक चाही । कहब छैक जे मनः पूतं समाचरेत । जखन अपन मोन मानि जाए तखने कोनो काज करी । अपन जीवन-यापन करबा जोग वुद्धि भगवान सभकेँ देने छथि । तकर सही उपयोग कएल जाए तँ बहुत रास दुर्घटना सँ बचल जा सकैत अछि । कहक माने जे अंधभक्त नहि हेबाक चाही ।

बहुत रास लोकसभ फिरसान भए बाबा सभहक चक्करमे पड़ि जाइत छथि । एहन बाबा सभक आइ-काल्हि कमी नहि अछि । जतहिँ देखू,जटा- जूटधारी बाबा तृशूल चमकबैत भेटि जएताह । हुनका सभसँ बचिकए रही एहीमे कल्याण अछि । कारण ओ धन-धर्म सभ पर हाथ फेर दैत छथि । कै बेर तँ जानोसँ लोक हाथ धो लैत छथि ।

सोचएबला बात अछि जे कैबेर पढ़ल-लिखल लोको एहन बाबा सभक चक्करमे पड़ि जाइत छथि । तकर की कारण ? असलमे जखन लोक वास्तविकताकेँ नहि स्वीकार करैत छथि किंबा परिस्थितिसँ ताल-मेल नहि बैसा पबैत छथि,तखने एहन मानसिकता जोड़ मारैत अछि आ गलत-सलत काज लोक करए लगैत अछि । कहल जाइत अछि जे जँ अपना मोनक हो तँ नीक ,जँ अपना  मोनक खिलाफ भए जाऐ तँ आओर नीक । कारण जे अपना मोनक नहि भेल से बुझु जे भगवानक मोनक छनि किंवा हुनकर आदेश छनि ,से बुझि आगतकेँ स्वीकार करैत आगा बढ़ि जाउ । जीवनमे नीक बेजाए होइत रहैत अछि । क्यो एहन व्यक्ति नहि भेटत जे सभ दिन नीके देखने होथि । नीक-बेजाए समय केँ साहस पूर्वक झेलैत जे चलैत रहि जाइत छथि,बीच रस्तामे थाकि कए , हारि कए काजकेँ आधा-अधूरा छोड़ि नहि दैत छथि,वएह कीर्ति करैत छथि,यशक भागी होइत छथि ।

सही रस्तापर चलनिहार व्यक्तिकेँ बहुत याचना होइत अछि। बच्चामे हमरासभ सत्य हरिश्चन्द्रक नाटक देखने रही । केहन,केहन दिक्कतिसँ हुनका सामना करए पड़ल । एकटा प्रसिद्ध राजा सत्यक रक्षा करैत-करैत भिखमंगा भए गेलाह  । ई हालत भए गेलनि जे पुत्र रोहितक मृत लहासकेँ जड़ेबाक हेतु कोनो व्योत नहि गेलनि। ऐहन दारूण दुख भगवान ककरो नहि देथि । मुदा ओ सत्यक मार्गपर अडिग रहलाह आ अन्ततोगत्वा विजयी भेलाह । कहक माने जे जीवनमूल्यक रक्षाक हेतु जँ कष्टो सहए पड़ए तँ अगुतेबाक नहि चाही,अपितु दृढ़तापूर्वक न्यायक मार्ग पड़ चलैत रहबाक चाही।

अपना देश-समाजमे कमे एहन लोक होइत छथि जिनकासभ किछु बनल-बनाएल भेटि जाइत छनि। अधिकांश लोककेँ सभ  किछु हेतु संघर्ष करए पढैत छनि । जीवनक मूलभूत आबश्यकता जेना आवास,शिक्षा,स्वास्थ्य हेतु सेहो मोसकिल रहैत अछि । अधिकांश लोक तँ संघर्ष करतहि  जनमैत छथि आ ओही हालमे दुनियाँसँ चलि जाइत छथि । किछु एहनो लोक छथि जिनका भगवान ततेक दए देने छथि जे फुराइते नहि छनि जे की करी ? एहन लोककेँ विवेकसँ काज लेबाक प्रयोजन अछि । जँ सही व्यक्तिक हाथमे संपदा आबि जाइत अछि तँ ओ बहुत कयाणकारी भए सकैत अछि,हजारो,लाखोक तायदादमे जरुरतमंद,दुखी,ओ आर्तलोकक जीवनकेँ बदलि सकैत अछि,मुदा से होइक तखन ने? लोकसभ अपने धरि सीमित रहि जाइत छथि आ तखन कहताह जे मोनमे शांति नहि अछि,फिरसान छी ,आदि,आदि ।

जरुरी एहिबातक अछि जे परिस्थितिसँ तालमेल बैसाकए चली। जाहि बातपर अपन बश नहि अछि तकरा स्वीकार करी एवम् जीवनमे आशावादी रुखि राखी । सभसँ जरुरी अछि जे ईश्वरमे विश्वास राखी। भगवानक घरमे देर अछि अन्हेर नहि अछि । अस्तु,धैर्यपूर्वक कर्तव्य कर्मकेँ करैत रहब तँ देर-सवेर जरुर सफलता भेटत । एहिबातकेँ ध्यानमे रखैत जीवन यात्राकेँ यथासाध्य शांतिपूर्ण ढ़गसँ बिताबक चाही।

जीवनमे सही दृष्टिकोण एवम् आशावादी रुखि रखलासँ बहुत रास संकटसँ बचल जा सकैत अछि,कमसँ कम ढ़ोंगीबाबाक चक्करसँ तँ जरुरे बचब । अस्तु, सबसँ जरुरी अछि जे हमर बुद्धि शुद्ध होअए जाहिसँ हमसभ नीक-बेजाएक बिचार करैत जीवन यात्राकेँ मर्यादापूर्वक बिता सकी।

दृष्टिपूतं न्यसेत्पादं वस्त्रपूतं पिबेज्जलम् ।

शास्त्रपूतं वदेद्वाक्यं मनः पूतं समाचरेत् ॥
- चाणक्य नीति

Back to nature!

 Back to nature!

Man often creates lot of problems for himself. He has high ambitions. He wants to acquire lot of wealth and rise to high status for which he keeps on manoeuvring. He remains engrossed in endless chain of struggles. Ultimately, he succeeds in acquiring wealth. He often gets high post having lot of perks and facilities. He builds high rise buildings having all the modern gadgets. There are people who have even helipads built in their household rooftops. 

The question is-how these things impacts our physical and mental health? We are having sleepless nights despite air-conditions and comfortable beds? On the other hand, persons earning daily wages have peaceful sleep over the pavements. This is the big difference between material achievements and peace of mind.

Health is one of the greatest asset we possess. We can earn a lot and make lot of property but cannot enjoy them unless we are physically fit. We cannot do anything with sick body rather we become a liability to our nears and dears. So, we must try to keep our fit so long we live in this world. It is not entirely in our hand but still we can do a lot.

There has been lot of improvement in medical science. Doctors have been able to device cure for most of the diseases but nothing could be done to prevent death. Nobody can defer it even for a moment. Nobody has come to this world to remain for ever. When time comes, everybody has to go. 

We are all mortal but the fact to be noted is that the body is the vehicle for the journey of life. We exist through our body. Our mind can work only if we are healthy. It is a known fact the body and the mind impact each other. We cannot have good physical health unless we have sound mental health. This holds good vice-versa also. 

Some people appear to be very healthy. They try to smile when confronted with the people outside. All of a sudden, we get the news of such persons committing suicide or killing someone in revenge. Why does it happen? In fact, people who appear to be cheerful and healthy from outside are often victim of self-created contradictions which often overpower them and they commit crimes and even inflict wounds on themselves. Such things   happen because such persons are unable to take a balanced view of things around.  

One of the essential requirements for keeping good health is to avoid thinking too much. Over thinking often results in negativities remain confined to our own thoughts and are unable to benefit from the experiences of others. Things keep on changing. It is, therefore, advisable to keep our mind open and consider contrarian views.

Most of us keep eating throughout without understanding its damaging impact on our health. Food is required for providing energy to the body and the mind. If, however, the intake of food is not balanced with the requirement of the body system and is dominated by lust to eat things which may not be healthy, we are actually losers. We, therefore, need to control ourselves while piping food inside the body. This may prevent us from lot of troubles.

Everything said and done, we must take advantage of the modern medical science not only in preventing disease but also in treating it. There are medicines which can now cure diseases which were so far considered to be incurable. Even dreaded disease like Cancer can be cured, if treatment is not unduly delayed. Modern medical science specially treatment through surgery has proved a boon for the modern civilization. Many persons who could have died young or at very prime stage of life have been successfully cured and are living a healthy life beyond sixty.

Birds, animals and many other living beings do not have hospitals to treat them. They just live and die. Living and dying are both natural process. We as human being are well educated and have developed technical knowledge about things which we normally do not see from our eyes. This is the cause of big trouble for us because we think to be very powerful and try to capture natural process by artificial things. This has disturbed the balance which otherwise existed in nature.

 Nature has auto correction system. If our body or mind needs some treatment due to malfunctioning, necessary corrective measures are taken automatically. Medicines only revive or strengthen those capacities which nature has already given us. These days seasons are changing. There are too much hot during summer seasons. There are no timely rains. This imbalance of nature has spoiled out mental and physical health. The question is- “How to face this situation? “The answer is: “Go back to nature.” Let us make an honest attempt to live close to nature .Then only we can  enjoy to the fullest.